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Letters for Saturday, April 11, 2020

He thought better of taking on Easter Bunny

‘Twas Good Friday before Easter, when all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The finest of clothes were hung on the line with great care,

In the hopes that by Sunday they would dry in the air.

The keiki were resting, finally asleep in their beds,

While heroic deeds and funny pranks enraptured their heads.

And Mom in her mumu, and I in the nude,

Were awakened by noises, so late and so rude.

My brain was still foggy. I was fighting a flu,

So I was slow to hear the hullabaloo.

I went to the window, my feet bare and cold,

Almost fell on my face, on a Lego I rolled.

I opened the drapes, and threw up pale green,

I hoped to the heavens it wasn’t COVID-19.

I rubbed my eyes hard, to focus my sight,

It was dark and still the middle of the night.

The moonlight had pierced the dark clouds for a bit,

And what did I see? A huge white rabbit!

So slow did it move, first I thought it a rock,

‘Till it turned and exclaimed, “Eh, what’s up, Doc?”

I heard it chomp on a carrot, two, and then three.

“You stop that,” I cried. “Come down and make me.”

I looked all around for something to throw,

But Mom took my hand saying, “Just let it go.”

“She’s just checking the garden. She’ll be elsewhere next eve,

Her work will be done; colored eggs she will leave.

The children will chortle, they’ll race ‘round the space,

poking their hands into each hiding place.”

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The splatter of an egg, and a “Hey, you big goof,

Stick your head out again, give me a chance.”

Another egg splashed; that broke my trance.

I raced down the stairs to confront that hair-raising hare,

But she didn’t run away, just gave me a stare.

Up close I could see she was much bigger than me.

So I heeded Mom’s words; I’d just let it be.

Her feet: how they thumped.

Her ears: long and straight.

Her nose: it just quivered,

Mouth: full of carrots she ate.

She held her furry fore paws just like a fighter,

So I abandoned any thought of trying to smite her.

The stump of a turnip she held tight in her teeth,

While turnip and carrot greens littered beneath.

She had a white fluffy tail, and ears that made her so tall!

I felt just like poor Alice, when she was “just this small.”

She calmed down when she saw I was no longer a threat,

Said, “I’m the Easter Bunny.” And that’s how we met.

A wink from her eye, and a twitch of her tail,

Let me sigh with relief, sure that peace would prevail.

She spoke right to the point, a trait I hold dear.

“How many kids you got living in there?”

“Bout a dozen, right now,” I said so she’d hear.

“I’ll hide my eggs now, on Sunday they’ll cheer.”

She bustled round the courtyard and into each room,

Leaving things I saw not, then away she did zoom.

But I heard her explain, before she faded from sight.

“On Easter morning they’ll see them. For now, please sleep tight.”

Jed Somit, Kapa‘a

Modly hatchet man in Crozier issue

Acting Navy Secretary Tom Modly resigned today in the aftermath of his badly bungled response to Capt. Brett Crozier’s recently publicized coronavirus SOS (Save our Sailors).

When asked about that, President Trump waffled, as usual, saying Crozier should be fired (in private meetings), then saying he might get involved (after Modly trashed Crozier’s character in a speech on the Roosevelt), then saying he feels bad about Crozier, but also that he shouldn’t have “written a letter.”

Trump micromanages every issue that might in any way connect to him, clearly marking Modly as Trump’s hatchet man in this matter.

One imagines that nothing Modly did, not even his resignation, was unknown to Trump beforehand. Regardless of anyone’s opinion about general adherence to the chain of command, it is essential to military order, and Modly isn’t the chief villain here, merely the latest chump bartering character and integrity for a chance to kiss Trump’s bejeweled hand.

Rich Ragland, Koloa

Mahalo to the essential workers

A nephew of mine who lives in South Korea recently reported that life there is returning to normal. Restaurants, offices and shops are re-opening. The country, which had been hit hard by coronavirus, seems to be well on its way to recovery. He attributed this improvement in large to Koreans’ willingness to obey government health directives.

Perhaps this news will encourage people here to have patience and to support local efforts to keep our population safe.

Thanks are due to our government, medical, media, education and other workers who are trying hard to help. Thanks also to ordinary citizens who are doing their bit. Imua Kaua‘i. We have survived floods and hurricanes; we shall survive this.

Heuionalani Wyeth, Anahola

Tourism can wait

I am appalled to see the opinion piece published by TGI by ex-County Councilmember Gary Hooser. What credentials does Mr. Hooser have in regards to public health? Because in his piece he makes many flawed arguments about his vision for having us all “hugging and high-fiving” once we’ve completely eliminated COVID-19 infection from Kaua‘i.

He first thinks it is possible to test every last person on Kaua‘i — something that simply is impossible. We could get 95-98%, but there will always be people who would refuse a blood test for any reason. And what about the homeless population?

Aside from the flawed idea of 100% testing for residents, he proposes testing every single visitor with a test they take the day before they get on a plane to Kaua‘i. Can’t a person become infected after they’ve been tested? Of course. It can take several days of infection to test positive with antibody tests. That fact alone undermines this plan entirely. It only takes one infected person to infect dozens and put us right back where we are.

These ideas are flawed and this kind of opinion piece leads to more confusion and more problems treating COVID-19 in our small community. This idea that we’re going to make Kaua‘i a COVID-19-free location, just so we can bring the tourists back, is offensive and completely deaf to the needs of the residents, health-care workers and first responders of this island. There are 14 ventilators on Kaua‘i, Mr Hooser. Tourism can wait.

John Patterson, Kapa‘a

Maybe Hawai‘i should stop surfing

Now is not the time to become complacent. If California can close off their surf breaks, which they did beginning today, so can the state of Hawai‘i. You don’t believe surfers do not practice safe social distancing? Just go to surfline.com and pull up Pipeline.

With aloha.

Deb Dixon, Kapa‘a
Source: The Garden Island

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